Here’s exactly where a humanist celebrant can – and can’t – legally marry you in England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland, and what they can do instead.
Humanist celebrants can do many things: make you laugh, make you cry, make the wedding ceremony of your dreams come true, speak a bit of Japanese (ok, that one is dependent on which humanist celebrant you pick, but this one can!) But can a humanist celebrant legally marry you?
A humanist celebrant can marry you, but only in certain areas
The answer depends on where in the UK you live.
All humanist celebrants require several months of in-depth training to ensure we can guide couples through this experience (you can read about mine here, if you fancy it), as well as continuing professional development requirements to meet for our accreditation.
Despite this — and the fact that humanist weddings are legal ceremonies in Scotland and Northern Ireland – humanist celebrants aren’t able to conduct legal wedding ceremonies in England and Wales.
Yet.
The reason I say yet – other than the fact that I’d love nothing more than to be able to marry the brilliant, wonderful people of Sheffield and beyond – is because there is currently an ongoing campaign to change the law, as the current one has been found to be discriminatory against non-religious folk. However, there’s currently no timeline on it.
So, the TL;DR is that: no, humanist celebrants cannot legally marry you in England. That’s the job of a registrar, currently (see the difference between humanist celebrants and registrars here). But what can celebrants do instead?
Ok, so what can a humanist celebrant do?
Create a ceremony that is totally bespoke to you
The very point of humanist weddings is to celebrate you both as people, so there’s no drag-and-drop templates or [insert Name here]s. Instead, your celebrant creates a ceremony especially for, and with, you.
Not only is the ceremony itself loads of fun and a little bit romantic (if you want it to be), but the process of planning it is too. I always advise couples to treat the time they spend working on their ceremony like a date night - in amongst a load of logistics and people management, it’s lovely to spend time just focussing on your love together!
Treat you as individuals, respect your choices
And other things that you would hope are the baseline of wedding planning interactions, but unfortunately aren’t always…
For example, some of the things I’ve been asked by my couples include:
Please don’t make us say vows, we’re too shy, we would hate it!
Can you use my chosen name even though it’s not on my birth certificate?
My sister who has communication needs might unintentionally disrupt the ceremony, what can you do to help her feel welcome?
These are all totally reasonable – and fundamental – requests that they’d been made to feel bad about by other people. Humanist celebrants can ensure that not only are all of yours and your guests’ needs accommodated, but that you never feel stupid for asking.
Make your guests laugh, cry happy tears, and feel like an important part of your wedding
Because, let’s face it – they are. It’s why they’re there! The job of a humanist celebrant is to hold space for everyone there, and hopefully facilitate a lot of super happy new core memories* to be formed. I make it an absolute priority to bring the vibe my couples have asked for. That way guests feel the atmosphere from the very start of the day (i.e. the ceremony), and the whole day can flow beautifully from that!
*Yes it’s a Pixar movie reference, and no I’m not sorry.
Make it feel like a ‘real’ wedding
Because, controversial opinion alert: it is a real wedding.
If a wedding is a public declaration of your love for one another, then a wedding by a humanist celebrant is every bit as real as a legal ceremony. Couples often confide in me that they’re worried their guests will find it inauthentic, but in reality the most common feedback guests give me is “I didn’t know weddings could be like that…can I book you for my next one?!”
Looking for a humanist celebrant to marry you?
I’m passionate about humanist ceremonies – in case you couldn’t tell – and I love talking about weddings; so if you want to chat about having me as your humanist celebrant at your wedding? That’s the dream, right there!
If you’re intrigued, feel free to get in touch about whether a humanist wedding ceremony might be right for you. I can even point you in the right direction of how to do your legal marriage paperwork, alongside humanist wedding loveliness.
Check out Sidey Clarke Photography who is responsible for the awesome images of Katie and Lachlan's wedding on this page. And - you lucky things - you can even see this whole wedding on the Un-Wedding blog. The whole day had a relaxed vibe and was so much fun!